My Sunshine
by BLilTXgirl
Summary: After tragedy strikes, Angela finds herself swept away in love, in life, and in "pack" politics.
1. Chapter 1

I owe an immense debt of gratitude to Mischief_Maker1 for being more than just a beta as she fixed my mistakes, held my hand and walked me through how to even get this up on FF. You are a lifesaver, bb, and I adore you more than I possibly express in any A/N.

If you haven't read SM's The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner you might not recognize a couple of the names in this chapter. It won't impact your understanding of the chapter, but if you'd like to know where they come from and how they tie into the Twilight Saga, read that novella.

**Chapter One **

**Wolf POV**

"What the fuck? Overgrown dogs?"

We let out a chorus of growls as the vampire stood up from where he had been hunched over the boy. Leah whined as she realized the boy was already gone. We'd been too late to stop it. When we'd caught the trail of the leech where he crossed our patrol we had run flat out in an attempt to catch up to him.

We were lined up across the meadow, almost shoulder to shoulder, and in a move that couldn't have been more in unison if it had been choreographed, we each took one step forward. We remained tensed, ears flat against our heads, ready to lunge, with our hackles standing on end as a symphony of snarls, snaps and gnashing teeth filled the air.

The bloodsucker's crimson eyes looked down the line of angry werewolves before he pivoted and darted for the other side of the meadow.

_Leah! See if you can get ahead of him!_

_Ha! Like that's even a challenge, Sam!_

_How did he get past us and the Cullens?_

_Jared, focus on helping us kill this leech. We'll figure out how he got here later._

_Right, Sam, sorry._

_Paul, Jake, I want you on my flanks! This bloodsucker has never been here before, I don't recognize his stench._

_Maybe they were wrong, Sam? Maybe the Cullens didn't kill the redhead's mate after all?_

_Bella said they set him on fire after tearing him apart, Embry._

_And we're trusting them now? As if they wouldn't lie?_

_Actually, Quil, what I meant was maybe the leech they killed in Phoenix wasn't her mate. Maybe this guy is._

_How about you all shut up and pay attention to bringing down this killer!_

The sound of our paws thudding against the bracken was the only sound as our minds pulled together to focus completely on catching the vampire who had dared to not only come into our territory but also kill an innocent. The mind of the pack was a blur of green and gray as the forest flew past us. The stench increased as we closed in on him, until eventually each of us flinched at the burn of the über sweetness in our noses.

"Oh sure, of course they need me to do something important for them! 'Diego, you're the only one we trust with this. You have more experience than any of the others.' I should have known better than to trust her!"

Wait… is he really talking to himself?

_So not only is he a killer, he's crazy!_ Seth barked out a laugh.

"I'm sorry, Bree. I shouldn't have trusted them. I should have kept what we knew to myself like you wanted us to. Thank God I didn't tell them we both knew. They think it was just me. You should be safe."

_Who's Bree? I thought Bella said the redhead was Victoria. Who's 'them'? Jake, has Bella mentioned there being more than just the redhead? What in the hell are we dealing with?_

_No, Sam. Bella only told me about the redhead and the leech with the dreads that we killed before the Cullens came back._

_I'm around front, Sam!_

_Jared, Embry, take the left side! Seth, Quil pull around to the right! Jake, Paul and I have the rear!_

We made our way around the panicking vampire. He began to slow as he realized there was no way out for him. The pack closed in slowly, approaching from all sides until we were within striking distance. The trapped vampire growled lowly, pulling back his lip in a menacing snarl that exposed all of his glistening, razor sharp teeth.

_Careful. Don't let him get you with his teeth._ Sam warned, primarily for the benefit of Seth and Leah who had never actually been involved in a fight with a vampire until now.

As the leech lowered himself into a crouch, arms out to his sides as if to balance himself, he slowly turned, perhaps evaluating the best means of escape.

_Ha! There's no escape here, Bloodsucker!_

When he had turned and was facing Leah, Sam lunged forward, landing with his front two paws square in the back of the leech, pinning him to the ground. Suddenly there was only the sound of teeth gnashing and the horrible sound of tearing metal as the pack went about tearing the limbs from the bloodsucker's body.

Leah waited for each of us to have a solid hold on the various limbs of the leech and in an orchestrated movement Sam moved his right front paw forward onto the head of the leech, holding his face down in the wet moss and ferns below us just as Leah came forward. The bloodsucker's face was turned to the side so he wasn't able to see as Leah leaned in, closing her powerful jaws around his neck. As she stepped back it pulled his head from his body as he let loose a screeching wail.

_Great, Leah got the kill bite. She's never gonna let us hear the end of this!_

_Paul…_

_Sup, Boss?_

_Shut it._

Soon we had just a pile of cold, granite body parts.

_Quil, Embry, start the fire and stay to make sure every piece has burned before you head home. Leah, Seth, go home and fill the elders in on what happened. Jake, Paul, Jared, come with me. We're gonna need to get in touch with Bella and the Cullens to talk about this, but first we need to go offer our services to Chief Swan and his officers for the "hunting" party. We need to make sure they find the meadow and take that boy home to his family._

**Angela POV**

"Angela … Angela, baby, I need to talk to you."

My mom stood in the doorway to my bedroom waiting for me to look up from my Calculus book. When I finally finished writing out the differential I'd been working on I looked up and felt my chest constrict at the look on her face. My mother's usually relaxed and kind face was pale and drawn. She looked as though she had seen a ghost or had the weight of the world on her shoulders. I panicked.

"Oh my God, Mom … Isaac? Joshua? DAD?" I rattled off the names of my younger brothers and my father, fearing whatever had her so upset involved one of my loved ones.

"No, honey, Dad's downstairs working on his sermon and the boys are in the backyard. Can I come in?"

"Sure. I was just finishing up the Calculus homework that's due later this week. I'm meeting with Bella tomorrow to go over it."

Mom took a deep breath, looking as though she was bracing herself for something, and stepped into the room. As she crossed the threshold of my doorway she reached for the doorknob and softly closed the door. Two more steps and she was at my bed, sitting down and motioning for me to join her.

Feeling my stomach tighten and my heart beat faster, I stood, pushing my worn wooden desk chair under the opening of the heavy metal teacher's desk my father had excitedly brought home for me a couple years ago when the church was going to discard it. I sat on the edge of the bed, looking into the soft brown eyes that so closely mirrored my own.

"Ang, I just finished talking to Mrs. Cheney."

"Ummm … ok." I wondered what had brought on this conversation. My parents were friendly with my boyfriend, Ben's, family but didn't normally talk.

"You know Ben was meeting with the other boys today, right?"

"Yeah, they were going to hang out and maybe go into Port Angeles to watch the new sci-fi movie that's out." Ben hadn't really been looking forward to the day. He had wanted to come over and spend time with me but I had told him I really needed to get ahead on some homework and it would be good for him to spend some time with the guys. He hadn't gotten a lot of guy time lately. Not that I kept him from his friends, we just tended to get caught up in spending time together and not realize we hadn't really talked to anyone, besides each other, when we were outside of school.

"Mike called earlier in the day to let the Cheneys know Ben hadn't showed up in Port Angeles. The guys had all tried to reach him on his cell, but he wasn't picking up." I felt my stomach bottom out. That just wasn't like Ben. He's always on time and always calls to let you know if he even _thinks_ he's going to be late. Punctuality is one of his pet peeves. "When neither of his parents were able to reach him either they contacted Chief Swan to ask for his help."

"Chief Swan?" Involving the father of Bella, one of my closest friends, could only mean that they were worried enough something had happened to Ben they felt they had no other choice. "He's been out of the station a lot lately. Bella says they've had almost every available man out looking for this bear or whatever it is that's causing all the problems lately."

"You're right, honey, he has been. They were only able to speak with the dispatcher on duty and she assured them she would have the Chief call as soon as he was back. Because it had been less than 24 hours though, and Ben is technically an adult now that he's 18, all they could really do was wait."

"I'll call Mrs. Cheney. I know where Ben likes to go when he needs some time to think or just needs some quiet time. There aren't many places. It won't take any time at all to track him down. He probably just left his phone in the Neon or forgot to charge it altogether. I know it was on low battery last night because it was driving me crazy with the constant beeping," I rattled off, standing up to reach for the phone on my desk.

A soft hand on my forearm stopped me. "Angela, Mr. & Mrs. Cheney heard back from Chief Swan a couple hours ago." A couple hours ago? He wasn't even supposed to meet the guys until 2pm. If they had waited a bit before calling, and then his parents had had to wait for Chief Swan… I looked to the window only to see my own reflection staring back at me. When had it turned dark? I hadn't realized I had lost track of time so badly. I always do that when I'm busy with homework though.

"Wait … what time is it?"

"It's close to eight o'clock."

"You said Chief Swan had already called back? What did he say? Are they going to have an officer look for him? I should let them know about the places he goes. There's this one place a ways off from the trailhead … he took me there once, but it's kind of hard to find. I don't think anyone else even knows it's there…" I'm stopped short, again, by the simple touch of my mom's hand.

"A meadow?"

"Yeah … how did you know?"

"Mrs. Cheney told me. Chief Swan told her. He went to their house to speak with them. He got the message from dispatch saying they wanted to speak with him about Ben, but he was already on his way to the Cheney's house so he didn't call. He just went over instead. Chief and a few of the others in the group that are out looking for this animal found the meadow late this afternoon. They found Ben there."

"Oh! Thank God! Mom, don't do that to me! You had me terrified. Ben's parents must be furious he had them so worried. I won't be seeing him except at school for a while after this. What was he thin-"

My mother's formerly soft grip on my arm tightened enough to get my attention and stop me as my as my mother's voice plead, "Angela, stop. Sit down, please. I need to tell you this."

"Tell me? I thought you did."

"Yes, Chief Swan and the others found Ben in the meadow. He had…" She closed her eyes and took another deep breath, as though willing her lungs to fill and allow her to push the remaining words past her lips. "He had been attacked by the animal everyone's looking for."

"What? Where's he at? Did they take him to the hospital? I need to go, Mom. Will you drive me?" The ashen look on Mom's face when she first stood in my doorway made sense now and the fear of Ben lying in a hospital room in pain and scared shot through me as my mind raced.

"Sweetheart, Ben isn't in the hospital."

Confusion wound its way through me. She wasn't making sense. "I thought you said he was attacked. They stopped the attack, right? What happened?"

Another deep breath and she proceeded. "It was too late when they found him, baby. He had lost too much blood and they couldn't revive him. He's gone, sweetheart."

It was like she was speaking in riddles. Ben and I had plans tomorrow. We were going to address our graduation invitations. I had planned to ask Bella to help me because of how many my parents are planning to send, but Ben had volunteered to help, saying he has better handwriting than Bella anyway. He was coming over after services. We were going to service with my family since Ben's parents aren't particularly religious and then coming here to see how many invitations we could get through before I had to leave to meet Bella to review our Calculus homework.

"I don't understand. But he … we were … but … no. Nooo!"

"Mr. & Mrs. Cheney are going to call us as soon as arrangements have been made to give us the details."

Warm arms wrapped around me, but all I could feel was the darkness that seemed to pour in from the windows of my bedroom, surrounding me. I was stunned. This didn't make sense. I've been to that meadow. It's quiet, peaceful, almost magical. Nothing like this could happen there.

I pulled back from my mother's embrace and nodded. "Ok." I had nothing else to offer. I leaned to the side and laid my head on my pillows, pulling my knees to my chest and curling in on myself.

My mom ran her hand along my side, trembling slightly as she did. "Angela, baby, I know this…"

"Mom I really just want to go to sleep. I'm fine."

She hesitated, but stood and leaning over to kiss my temple and whispered, "I love you, my angel. You'll get through this. We all will." She softly walked to the door, opened it and slipped out, closing it again behind her.

Alone again in my room I repeated the conversation in my head. I couldn't make sense of the information that she had given me. For possibly the first time ever, my mind simply wouldn't connect the data points provided into a logical answer.

Animal attack. Bled out. Dead.

The words tumbled in my mind but they didn't take root. This had to be a mistake. Someone had made a horrible mistake. Ben was going to call at any moment and tell me he'd forgotten to charge his phone and then had gotten wrapped up in his newest comic book- I'm sorry, graphic novel- in a back corner of the library and just lost track of time.

I needed to go to sleep. I would get in bed, pull the covers over my head, and keep out the darkness that wanted to invade my life. I would wake up in the morning to light and my usual morning routine. My phone would vibrate at 8am sharp letting me know Ben had thought of me first thing after waking, as he always does.

_Good morning my sunshine. I love you. See you soon. ~Ben_

Every morning- like clockwork; 7am during the school week and 8am on the weekends. It would be here in the morning and everything would return to normal. It had to. There was no other way I would make it.

* * *

**A/N** This story is a first for me. Would you like me to continue it? Please let me know.

I need to thank all the people who have encouraged me while I finally got these characters out of my head and brought them to life. There are many more than this, but these are the ones who have put up with me over and over again. Shaelove and tellingmelies – thank you for all the time in gchats letting me bounce ideas off you and helping me find the right direction for this story. Idreamofec17 – thank you for always believing in me and trying to convince me there is nothing I can't do. Fiberkitty – You let me beta for you and convinced me that my own words were worth reading. And of course, Mischief_Maker1 – you put so much time into helping me get this chapter just right. I'd have never posted this if you hadn't offered to help me through it. I love you all. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the reviews encouraging me to continue this story! I love these characters, but it meant so much to me to hear others enjoyed the chapter as well.

There are several ladies I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to – NanMcCullen, tellingmelies, and idreamofec17. These are three of the most amazing women I know and I hope their birthdays are even remotely close to as amazing as they are.

I forgot to mention in the last chapter, but I'm sure you are all aware I don't own any part of the Twilight saga. Although if it was publicly traded I'd buy stock and pay off all my student loans from the dividends.

Many, many thanks to the amazing Mischief_Maker1 for her beta skills. You have no idea the crap you'd be reading if I posted this before she had done her magic with it. You are truly a shining star, and I love being able to call you my friend in addition to my beta. If you have not started reading her original fic, Wrong Direction for Love, on The Writers Coffee Shop you should go do that now. Seriously. Go read that and come back to this later.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Bella POV**

"Edward, really, _another_ application?" Where was he managing to find these schools that were still allowing last minute applications? If I ever wished my boyfriend had the ability to sleep, it would be now. That would at least take eight or so hours out of the time he had to find more schools.

"Bella, just humor me. This is an excellent school and there's no harm in sending the application in."

Taking the papers from his hand I looked down to see exactly how much of my evening I'd be losing to filling out blanks and regurgitating essays I'd all but memorized from the number of times I'd reread them. I'm a little crazy in that way. Even though I've looked at each of the five "form essays" I'd created for sending with applications several times, I still skimmed and reviewed each one before attaching it to an application just to make sure no typos or errors had been planted by gremlins since I last reviewed it.

"Dartmouth? Are you crazy?" Seeing the name of the prestigious university at the top of the papers I snapped my head up to look at Edward. His crooked grin and the sparkle in his eye told me this is not just another school he happened across during one of his Internet searches. Ivy league schools do not allow late applications, not without incentive. "No, Edward. It's bad enough I've agreed to you paying my tuition, I will not allow you pay just to have me be able to apply!"

"Bella, I –"

"Stop, Edward. Stop right there. Do not try to tell me you didn't. Dartmouth is not allowing me to apply for admission, months after the deadline, out of the goodness of its heart."

The crunch of gravel stopped me from continuing the argument. Looking up I realized it was already almost eight o'clock. Where had the afternoon gone? Oh, that's right … to the ridiculous stack of last minute college applications Edward had sprung on me today.

"Dammit. I haven't even started dinner yet, and Charlie's home." Charlie, my father, isn't particularly thrilled at the amount of time I spend with Edward. Charlie is very easy to live with and doesn't actually expect meals on the table when he arrives home, but I figured it was the least I could do. He had to watch me while I went through that indescribably dark period in my life a while back, and he's now spending almost every waking moment out with a hunting party searching for the 'bear' that was tormenting Forks and the surrounding area. "Hopefully he'll be placated by the four new applications I got done today, and not be upset that I lost track of time."

"It's not Charlie, Bella."

"What? Who is it?" Granted it was just a little before 9 p.m. on a Saturday night but I didn't really have a social life that brought people over to my house. My best friend, Jacob, and Edward pretty much hated each other so I only saw him when they traded shifts babysitting me. My only other friends that would ever stop by unannounced were Alice, and there's no way she'd stop by without Edward knowing before she got within two miles of us, and Angela who would normally be with her boyfriend, Ben, on a Saturday night. Or any night for that matter.

"It's Jacob."

"_Jake_ came _here_ while he knows you're here?"

Edward stood and placed himself between me and my young werewolf friend as he walked through the front door, mumbling quietly under his breath, "Great, now we'll have to open the windows to air out the stench when he leaves."

"You do know my hearing is every bit as good as yours don't you, leech?"

Not ready to be in the middle of another argument between them, I unsuccessfully tried to step around Edward. "Seriously, Edward, he's not gonna hurt me. Jake, what are you doing here? I don't feel like playing referee with you two tonight."

Jake's sarcastic snarl of, "You mean he didn't tell you exactly what was going through my head the minute he could hear it?" did nothing to improve my mood.

"No, Jake he did not. Now are _you_ going to tell me why you're here, or did you stop by just to annoy me?"

"Sam wants to talk to everybody."

Nothing he could have said would have shocked me more. "Everybody? As in …"

Jake looked at me like I was as dense as a petrified log. "As in _everybody_, Bella. You, your leech, all of his bloodsucking family and the pack."

"Watch it, pup." Edward stepped forward, closing the distance between them.

"Enough already!" I snapped at the two of them. This back and forth name calling and posturing was getting old already. "Jake, where does Sam intend to hold this 'talk' of his? At the Cullens' house? They aren't exactly allowed onto La Push."

"Hell no, we're not going to their lair!" Jake immediately retorted.

Edward spoke up to voice the question I hadn't even thought of. "Who will be keeping up the patrols while _both_ the pack _and_ my family are gathered for this little pow-wow? That would be a perfect opportunity for Victoria to slip by us."

"As if we'd leave things unprotected, bloodsucker!"

"Well, Jake, it was a legit question, since you said he wanted to talk to _everyone_." This time it was my turn to look at him as if he was a few cards shy of a deck.

"None of us want to be anywhere near the- "

"Jake!" I warned.

"- Cullens," he finished. "So Sam's gonna let a few of us continue running patrols. Lucky bastards," Jake mumbled that last part and I wasn't sure I was meant to have heard it, and then took a long breath in, exhaling slowly as if resigning himself to something. "Sam thought we could meet somewhere near the boundary line."

"There's a clearing just a little to our side of the line that we can meet at. I can assure you no one will think anything of you being in our territory," Edward offered.

"Where exactly is it? The pack can't just wander the boundary line all night." Jake snarled back at Edward. His attitude was grating on me more and more.

Edward, however, remained perfectly calm and replied, "It's not far from where I drop Bella off to you. We'll go in from there and you'll be able to follow our scent in. We need time to go tell my family and let Charlie know Bella will be out. Can you meet us there at 10 p.m.?"

"Wait!" I looked back and forth between them. "Charlie is not going to be okay with me just taking off at night."

"Oh that's easy," Jake replied with his huge wolfy grin. "We'll just tell him you got tired of your antiquated boyfriend and are coming to hang out with me for the evening. He'll be fine with it."

The smile on his face annoyed the living hell out me. Primarily because he was right. My father loved Jake while he tolerated Edward. Any time I spent with Jake and away from Edward was rejoiced as Charlie waited and hoped for me to break up with Edward and decide Jake was who I really wanted to be with. Unfortunately Jake was deluded, too, and fed Charlie's hope by continuing to try to convince me I really did want to be with him.

"Fine." I conceded. "I'll call Charlie and tell him know you're coming to pick me up to go back and watch movies at your place."

"Great!" he beamed back at me. "I'll wait while you call and we can take off."

"I said I would _tell_ Charlie that, Jacob. I'm going with Edward."

"Fine. Whatever. I'll see you at the meeting," he huffed and stormed through the front door to leave.

Turning to ask Edward if we should call Charlie or Alice first I realized he already had his phone in hand and was speaking too low and quick for my dull human senses to pick up. He pointed to the phone on the kitchen wall as if to ask 'Why aren't you dialing?' and I rolled my eyes and walked over, picked up the receiver and began to dial. This was going to be a very long night.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Alice, stop with the pacing. You may not get tired, but it's wearing me out just watching you." Alice had been a nervous ball of energy ever since she had met up with us at the clearing with the rest of the Cullens.

"I hate being blind, Bella! I feel very vulnerable not knowing what to expect in a situation. These fucking mongrels screw with my sight every damn time!" she huffed as she plopped down beside me.

"Whoa, Alice, the f-bomb? And me without my soap," I giggled. "But the pack isn't coming to fight with you guys, you know that right? I wouldn't be friends with any of them if I really thought they'd do something like that to your family."

She leaned over a little and nudged me with her shoulder. "No, I know. Well, at least I'm pretty sure that's not it, but I just hate not knowing! Ugh! How do you people deal with suspense like this all the time?" Her eyes were narrowed to slits and she tried, unsuccessfully, to get some idea of what would happen during this little get together tonight. Why she even tried I had no idea. It just upset her more when it didn't work. Just as she began to let out another frustrated groan her face relaxed and she took a deep breath.

"Thanks, Jasper," I offered as Alice's husband came over to stand behind us.

"I can't stand seeing you upset, Darlin'." He extended his hand to her and smiled down at her. "Edward says he's beginning to hear the pack's thoughts so they should be here in a minute or so."

"Thanks, Jazz." She took his hand and wrapped her arms around him as she came to stand next to him.

I walked over to where Edward was standing as he talked to Carlisle. They'd been monitoring the escalating death toll in Seattle for a while now and Carlisle had wanted to run some theories by him while we waited for Jake and the rest of the wolves to show up. When I was within reach of Edward his hand slid around my waist, pulling me into his side.

"Hi, Love," he breathed out as he allowed his cheek to come to a rest on the top of head. His exhaled breath washed over my face and I felt myself relax just as much as if Jasper had used his considerable talents on me. There was absolutely no better balm for my battered nerves than Edward.

"Jasper mentioned the pack was–" I stopped speaking as I heard the heavy footfalls of my friend and his pack mates and one by one the massive wolves stepped through the treeline and into the clearing.

"Wait. There's only four. Where's Sam?" The absence of the missing black wolf who was the Alpha wolf, and therefore, leader, of this pack was unmistakable. Instead, the pack was lead by the russet colored wolf that was, coincidentally, my best friend, Jake. Just as I had voiced my question Sam walked into the clearing, on two legs, wearing the shorts he kept tied around his ankle as he ran with the pack.

"He wants to be able to talk easily with Carlisle and not have to depend on me to relay the conversation for him so he's going to talk to us in his human form, but he wanted to the others to come through first so he wouldn't be as exposed. He's trying to have faith in us, but it's difficult for him," Edward explained.

No more had Edward finished talking and another realization sparked fear throughout my body. I tensed and turned to Edward, barely able to keep my voice at whisper and I breathed out, "Edward all five of them are here. I thought Jake said a few were going to run patrol. What if Victoria is nearby?"

Carlisle came forward and extended his hand to Sam in greeting. "Sam, thank you for asking to speak with us. What has you so concerned?"

Taking the moment that Sam used to gather his thoughts, Edward tightened his hold on me, rubbing the patch of exposed skin between the waist of my jeans and the hem of shirt as he tried to calm me. "They are running patrols, Love. It would seem the pack has grown a bit in size since you last saw them all together." I breathed out the air I had unconsciously been holding and my shoulders rolled forward in relief as my panic subsided.

"We killed a vampire this afternoon," Sam relayed with barely concealed hatred in his voice.

"Victoria?" Carlisle questioned with thinly veiled hope.

"No, this was another male. We _think _his name was Diego, but we're not sure." When Sam said this the sandy colored wolf standing behind and to the left of Jake let out a few huffs of air that were as close to what I'd think a chuckle could sound like if it was coming from a six foot tall canine.

"Diego?" Carlisle repeated. He looked back to Esme, Rose, Emmett, Jasper and Alice who were gathered behind him and then over to Edward and I who stood of to his left. "Does that name sound familiar to anyone?"

I simply shook my head and looked up at Edward, who added his negative reply just as the others mumbled no or shook their heads.

"You'll come across his scent when you take patrol tonight. It happened in the meadow near the trailhead off the one-ten. The same meadow we killed the leech with the dreads in." Sam stopped as if trying to recall something, before continuing on. "He was talking to himself while he ran from us and mentioned 'Bree', 'them', and 'the others'. You really haven't heard anything more about these 'others' that you aren't telling us about?"

"Sam, our world is a little different than yours. There are hundreds of other vampires out there and most are nomads that travel individually or in small groups. A family the size of ours is pretty much unheard of," Edward offered as explanation.

Turning to Carlisle, Edward started speaking again. "Carlisle, what if what we're seeing in Seattle is more extensive than even the news and papers are aware of? What if it's not a case of a negligent sire creating a few newborns and not caring to educate them?"

Jasper stepped forward, his face alight as if someone had just given him the final piece in a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle. "You're right, Edward. It's as if the South has come north."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, clearly exasperated at Jasper's riddler-like speech.

"I'll allow Jasper to give you a brief overview on that," Carlisle said.

Pacing back and forth a few steps in each direction Jasper began to speak. "In the southern United States and parts of Mexico there have been fierce territorial disputes. As a way of fighting the vampires in that area create armies… from newly created vampires, newborns if you will. Our kind is never stronger than during our first year in this life. During that time our own blood remains in our tissues and is slowly used up by the body. Unfortunately, newborns are also bloodthirsty and notoriously hard to control."

Jasper ran his hands up his arms over the material of his long sleeve shirt as if feeling the pain of the evidence his body bore to the facts he gave. I wondered if the wolves could see the scars I knew were so bold and dominant on his body that my human eyes could scarcely make out on close inspection. "Older, mature vampires create these newborns to use as disposable soldiers in their territorial battles. Most don't survive their first year and many of the few who do are killed anyway because their strength has waned and as the bloodthirst diminishes they begin to question the logic of their actions and therefore, their loyalty. Many of the things humans blame on serial killers, plagues, etc. are actually caused by our kind during these wars."

"Which is why Edward believes there may be another explanation for all the killings Seattle has experienced recently," Carlisle summarized. "He thinks it's not the act of a few vampires but more likely one vampire creating an army of newborns."

The hackles of all four wolves stood on end. Their ears lay flat back on their heads and a rumbling growl rolled through them as the seriousness of Carlisle's words came through. In the distance several distinct howls pierced the air.

As this information settled in Sam looked even more uncomfortable standing before in his human form. "Why would anyone need an army of newborns? Didn't you say it was to fight for territory? Who do they need to fight? Is there a vampire, or vampires, in Seattle that this army would need to fight against?" His questions came at us rapid fire.

"No, there is not. At least not that any of us are aware of," Edward answered him. "We've been in Seattle many times and never come across any others of our kind. We're the only established coven even remotely close to Seattle and since we don't drink human blood there would be no need to fight us for territory. At least not in Seattle."

"So, it's me," I whispered to myself. Victoria wouldn't really go through the hassle of creating an army of volatile newborn vampires and risk exposure to the Volturi just to gain revenge on me for James, would she?

Edward's arm tightened infinitesimally around my waist and a barely audible growl came through his chest at my suggestion.

Jake's huge head snapped toward me as well and his eyes sparked with an anger I'd never seen before.  
"Bella, we can't be sure," Carlisle started off.

"But it makes sense, Carlisle! What other reason is there for someone to go to these measures in an area otherwise completely unspoken for? There is none." I tried to reason with him.

Sam spoke up, turning to Jake, and the three wolves surrounding him, "We're going to need to rework or run patterns. If there are more of them than we thought we're going to have to be even more diligent. There will not be any more loss of human life on our watches. Today was one loss too many and we'll carry that loss on our hearts forever."

"Another hiker was killed today?" I asked.

"Bella, I was going to talk to you about this after we were done here," Edward began.

"No, it was some kid named from Forks named Ben," Sam answered me.

Edward let out an exasperated sigh and turned to Sam, fire burning in his eyes, but he was cut off by Emmett. "Did it ever enter your pea-sized brain, kibble breath, that Bella might know this 'kid from Forks named Ben'? You toss that out there like it's just another fact to be discussed. He was a person. In this case, a classmate and a friend you fucking dipshit!"

I was stunned. As Emmett repeated Sam's words, my world began to spin slightly off kilter. It had happened. I had brought the danger of the supernatural world I'd been living in to the doorstep of someone I cared about. Ben was dead. Angela's Ben was dead. And it was my fault.

**Angela POV**

The next morning dawned beautiful. The skies were a gorgeous blue, dotted with cumulous clouds so white and fluffy it looked like a movie CGI effect where people should be laying on their backs in a meadow assigning shapes to them.

A meadow like mine and Ben's. Our meadow. The one he _died_ in.

The beauty of the day was a horrible contrast to the darkness that had settled over me. Never before had I wished so fervently for the dreary rain soaked clouds Forks sees ninety percent of the year.

My cell phone sat on the bedside table taunting me with its time display. No missed calls. No new messages. _No new text messages._ The only other time he had not sent me his morning text greeting was when he was sick and even then he had sent it as soon as he woke up and I received it shortly before going into second period.

I stayed in bed well past the time I knew my family would be preparing to leave for Sunday church services. No one came to my door to remind me what time we had to leave. I heard my parents talking in hushed tones outside my door at one point, but they never knocked.

When I was certain my family had left for the church and I had the house to myself for about an hour I made my way to the kitchen. I needed to call Mr. & Mrs. Cheney but first I had to have something to wash away the bitter taste of the bile that had risen and settled at the back of my throat.

Opening the refrigerator, I surveyed my options – milk, orange or apple juice, water, soda or Gatorade. Deciding not to risk anything more substantial, I reached for the pitcher of cold water and poured a glass. Food was not an option at the moment so I decided I had put off the inevitable long enough.

I took my drink and made my way into the living room where I settled into a corner of the sofa and grabbed the cordless phone from the end table next to me. I took a few deep breaths in an effort to calm myself and dialed the number I knew without even having to think about.

How many times had Ben teased me about my complete inability to memorize his cell number when his family's home number was etched into my mind?

_"Seriously, babe, I don't get it. You've called the house phone _maybe_ five times in the past two years, yet you can spout that number off without even having to pause to think about it. You call my cell phone at least two or three times every day and you can't tell me that number without looking it up in your contacts?"_

_"What's not to get, Ben? I've known your house number since we were in elementary school. I've dialed it hundreds of time over the years I've known you. You programmed your cell number into my phone for me when your parents added you to their plan. I've never _actually_ dialed it so of course I don't remember it."_

_Placing his hands on either side of my face he pulled my head down so he could place a kiss on my forehead. Chuckling, he told me, "I'll never understand the way your mind works, but I sure am enjoying trying. I love you, Ang."_

"Hel-looo?" The slightly exasperated voice of Mrs. Cheney pulled me from my memories.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Cheney, I got distracted and didn't realize you had picked up."

"Oh! Angela! No, it's fine, dear. We've just had several calls from reporters this morning and I thought perhaps it was another one."

"Reporters? Reporters are calling about – " My voice caught and I had to take a deep breath before continuing. "– about Ben?"

I could hear her softly crying as she explained. "Yes, they actually started calling last night when the coroner ruled the cause of death to be an animal attack. Everyone from here to Seattle is following these attacks and since Ben was the most recent victim they are all clamoring to cover the story. We refused all calls until this morning. We wanted to be able to absorb the news ourselves and make some plans before talking to anyone. William and I met with the people at the funeral home early this morning to make the plans for Ben's services."

As my boyfriend's mother finished talking about going with her husband to make funeral arrangements for their only son I could tell she was barely holding herself together. Her usually strong, confident voice was soft and wavered as she tried to finish imparting the remaining details to me.

"The services will be Tuesday, Angela. At 10 a.m. We're not going to have a viewing. I won't allow it. That is not how my son, my beautiful boy, should be remembered." Her voice had risen in pitch as she became obviously distressed over the idea of anyone seeing Ben like that.

"Of course not, Mrs. Cheney," I tried to reassure her. "So, the memorial will be Tuesday. Is the funeral the following day?"

"No, we decided it would be too hard to have to say good-bye twice. We're only going to have the one service. There will be a visitation and memorial service starting at 10 a.m. The funeral will be at 1 p.m. and the grave-side service will be right after that." Hesitating, she continued in a questioning voice, "Do you think you could help me with some things?"

"Absolutely." I was praying having something to focus my energy on would help me to make it through the next several days. How I was going to survive the days after that, I had no idea.

"There are two things I need help with. First, we'd really like to put up some printed photos in the room. We have pictures of Ben with his father and me, and we have the one of the two of you that's on his bedside table, but we don't have any of him with friends. I'm not ready to go through the pictures on his computer to try to find one. Do you have one? Or can you ask some of his friends?"

"Actually, I have a really good photo of most of us that was taken on a visit to First Beach at the La Push Reservation last year. I think it will be perfect." I could see the picture in my mind's eye. Bella, Tyler, Mike, Jess, Eric, Conner, Lauren, Lee, Samantha, Ben, and I were standing in front of the fire we'd built to help ward off the slight chill in the air. We were all enjoying one of the few beautifully sunny days of spring at the beach and a family friend of Bella's, Jacob, had offered to take a picture of the group. The blue flames of the driftwood bonfire were visible in the spaces between us and a few licked the air above our heads. Even then, before Ben and I had become a couple, we had gravitated to each other and were side by side on the far right side of the photo.

"Oh, Angela, thank you. I knew you'd be able to help. I guess I actually have three things I need help with, now that I think about it, but the second is kind of an extension of the first. We're going to have a photo slideshow running during the visitation period. We, of course, have all his baby photos and pictures from when he was young that we had digitized a few years ago, but can you get us pictures that you have and some from his friends so we can add them to our pictures? We'd really like to have as many as possible so the slideshow doesn't keep repeating. I'm sure it's silly; we just want people to see as many sides of him as possible."

"I'm sure everyone would love to give copies of their pictures. I'll make some calls this afternoon and ask everyone to either email them to me or put them on a CD or flashdrive." The idea of looking through all my pictures of Ben and me tied my stomach in knots. How would I possibly hold myself together while seeing his face smiling back at me from the computer screen, knowing I'd never actually see him again?

"The last favor is probably the hardest one. As you know, William and I are both only children. So, there are no uncles or cousins to act as pall bearers…" Her sentence dropped off and she was obviously reluctant to complete the request.

"So you need help with asking people to fill those roles?"

"Yes. It's important to us he be carried to his final resting place by people who cared about him."

"I can ask the guys if you'd like me to. I can't imagine any of them would say no."

"Thank you so much, Angela. I know this is almost as painful for you as it is for us and I have no right to lean on you this way, but you'll never know how much I appreciate your help."

My voice broke as I replied, "Mrs. Cheney, I know you are the one asking me to do these favors, but I really feel as though this is the last thing I can do for Ben as … as his girlfriend. It's one last chance to let him know I love him." When I finished speaking she was openly sobbing.

Not expecting her to say anything further I let her know I would call everyone about the pictures and then also call her with the names and phone numbers of the boys who agree to be pall bearers. Before I could say good-bye and disconnect the line I heard a muffled shuffling noise and Mr. Cheney's voice came through the receiver.

"Angela, would you ask your father to call me when he's home? I know Ben enjoyed going to service with your family and I'd like to ask your father about performing the services for Ben."

"Of course, Mr. Cheney. It shouldn't be too much longer before he's home. I'll have him call you."

"Thank you, again, Angela, for everything. We'll talk to you soon. Good-bye."

"You're welcome, sir. Good-bye."

I put the phone back on its charger and pulled my knees into my chest, wrapping my arms around them and placing my chin on my right knee. As I sat there staring at the various shades of red, blue, green, and yellow in the fabric of the sofa, that somehow managed to blend and make a plaid that was not horrendous, the reality of the last day settled over me.

Ben was gone.

I had known, in my mind, he was gone since last night, but after speaking to his parents and hearing them acknowledge his death the enormity of my loss took root in my heart.

Ben is the most important person in my life aside from my family. He knew my hopes, dreams and fears, and I knew his. He knew when I first wake up I can't function well until I've washed my face and had breakfast, and I drink Diet Coke, but will always order a regular Coke when in a restaurant because the carbonation just isn't the same from the fountains. I knew he believed himself too old to admit to loving the way his mother smells and rather than risk looking like a "momma's boy" by hugging her for no reason he would find a reason to call me after she had used the home phone so he could smell her White Linen perfume on the receiver.

Was. Knew. It was no longer he is or he knows. It was he was and he knew. Ben was no longer my present. He was my… past.

As that thought passed through my mind I felt a hole being ripped through me as though someone had physically reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. The air in my lungs was forced out and I struggled to take enough breaths to refill them. My head began to swim and were I not already sitting I'd have surely made a quick and startling descent to the floor. There's no way my trembling legs would have supported me. I closed my eyes and hoped the crushing pain from the ragged edges of the newly created hole in my chest would subside.

What right did I have to hope for the pain to leave? I was still here. I still had my family, my friends, _our_ friends, and I still had a future. Ben would never feel pain again. He'd never feel anything again.

* * *

A/N There's been a little bit of confusion about where in the Twilight timeline this story is taking place. This is during the Eclipse book. I'm not sure if it will go into Breaking Dawn or not, but I can say that most of the events from Eclipse will be in this story although in a slightly different form. This particular chapter would be after Jake and Edward have started trading Bella back and forth to keep her protected but before the "fight training" since, obviously, they just figured out about the newborn army in this chapter. Hope this helps. If you need more, please PM or ask me in a review.

I would love to commit to a regular posting schedule, but I have a lot going on with work, home and CPA review, so I'd hate to make a promise to you and not be able to keep it. I will promise to update as quickly as I can get the chapters written and MM1 can beta them. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**My eternal gratitude goes to Mischief_Maker1 who constantly provides encouragement, support and comma suggestions on each chapter. This story would not be half of what it is without her input. I am humbled by her writing abilities, and grateful to be under her tutelage. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just giving a few of her characters a different voice.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Three**

**Angela POV**

I pulled my hair back, letting the strands slide through my fingers as I mindlessly went through the repetitive motions of putting my hair in a French braid. My dark brown hair was wound tightly together to the base of my skull then tied off so the rest of my hair fell in a column of loose waves between my shoulder blades.

Grabbing my handheld mirror from my dresser I turned my back to the mirror and raised the small beveled crystal mirror to view the braid, making sure it was straight and smooth with no clumps slicking up along the sides.

My eyes drifted from the smooth curves of the braid to the sharply cut edges that created the bevels that allowed the fantastically beautiful rainbows to bounce across my wall as a single ray of light broke through clouds and came through my window and was refracted through the crystal. A small smile crept across my face as the vibrant colors carried to the previous Christmas.

_"What time do we have to be there, Ang?" Ben asked from where he sat on the corner of my bed, right leg bouncing impatiently while he waited for me to finish getting ready._

_I caught his eyes in the mirror while I stood braiding my hair and replied, "Christmas Eve service starts at 9 p.m. but the Children's Pageant is at 8 p.m. so we need to leave by 7:30 p.m. That way we have time to park and get a seat before everything starts."_

_Pulling the thick elastic band from around my left wrist, I wrapped it around my hair and ran my fingers through the unbraided portion to separate the three sections that had been created while I wound the braid down my head._

_Still looking at Ben in the mirror I noticed his head tilt to the side as he watched me with a look of wonder in his face before a grin broke across his face._

_"What are you thinking about?" I asked._

_"_How_ do you do that?" he replied._

_"What? The braid?" I responded, trying to clarify what had him so curious._

_"Well, yes, but not just that you can braid your hair. You can braid your hair down the back of your head without seeing what you're doing. It amazes me every time." He shifted on the bed like he was uncomfortable and fidgeted with the bedspread. _

_"It used to amaze me, too. I just kind of did it one day while I was playing with my hair in class. I didn't even realize it was a French braid until Jessica stopped me after class and asked me to teach her how to do her hair in a French braid. All I knew was it was out of my face which was my goal." I laughed as I recalled the memory, especially all the time I'd spent later that evening at home trying to recreate what exactly I had done to end up with a French braid._

_I use to primarily wear my hair down or in a headband, but a few months after we'd started dating I'd worn in a French braid for a dinner with his parents and Ben had commented on how much he liked my hair that way because it showed off my long neck and he could still run his fingers through the ponytail part. I'd started wearing it that way much more frequently after that._

_I glanced across the top of my dresser and then turned and looked at my night stand. "Dangit," I muttered. "I forgot to grab the small mirror from Mom's bathroom, again."_

_Turning on my heel, I started across my room towards the door so I could go check my hair using my mom's handheld mirror. As I passed Ben his hand reached out to grab mine. "Hey, Babe, I brought your Christmas gift with me."_

_"Ok, we can exchange in just a few minutes. Let me just go check this really quickly."_

_Pulling a small box wrapped in silver metallic paper from under his right leg he turned my hand he had been holding palm up and placed the box in my hand. "Just open it, please. I've been waiting all evening to give it to you."_

_I turned my body to face him and questioned, "It needs to be right now, Ben? It can't wait just a couple more minutes?"_

_He smiled, and releasing my hand simply answered, "Please."_

_Seeing his eyes dancing with humor I couldn't refuse him. I noticed the weight of the box for the first time now that his hand no longer helped support the weight. I glanced down to the gift in my hands, caught the edge of the paper with my index finger, and was rewarded with the quick tearing of the beautiful paper. I never was one for trying to preserve the gift wrap; that takes all the fun out of opening the present._

_When the wrapping paper lay torn and crumpled on the floor I held a glossy white cardboard box in my hands with a photo of a beautiful handheld mirror surrounded by glass with an intricately cut design._

_I pulled in a sharp breath. "Oh, my God, Ben. It's beautiful."_

_"it's Crystal. Eighty-five percent lead crystal from Austria. I don't know what that means, but it's made by Waterford which my mom says is a really good company," he rattled off the mirror's data quickly, as though defending its honor._

_Giddy with excitement, I pulled the bubble wrapped mirror from the box and tossed the protective wrap to the floor with the other discarded wrapping and walked back to my dresser and mirror._

_"If sunlight hits the crystal it will make rainbows," he informed me as he walked to stand in front of me as I used my new mirror to check my hair. Laughing, he continued, "Although living in Forks, I'm not sure you'll ever get a chance to test that theory."_

_Smiling, I put the mirror on top of my dresser and reached for him, placing my arms around his neck. "Thank you, Babe. I love it. And you."_

_His lips met mine in a soft kiss before moving across my jaw and down my throat. He continued on, placing open mouth kisses on my neck, stopping just in front and below my ear, where he moaned out softly, "Mmmm… I _really_ love your hair like this."_

The clouds once again obscured the sun and banished the dancing prisms of light, bringing me out of my memories. I placed the mirror on the matching crystal tray my parents had bought me the same Christmas to coordinate with Ben's loving gift. I ran my fingers lightly over the bumpy surface of the crystal. "My rainbows will always belong to you, Love."

Pulling my hand back, I turned, picked up my purse from the foot of my bed and headed downstairs to leave for the funeral home.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

As my mom pulled turned off Calawah Way and into the parking lot of Mount Olympus Funeral Home I fought with the emotions I'd been trying desperately to contain for over three days now. Today was the day I was expected to say good-bye to Ben.

Distractedly I ran my thumb over the flashdrive I held in my hand. I had taken the cowardly way out and allowed word of Ben's passing to spread the way any big news does in a small town before I called our friends to ask for help with the promises I had made to Ben's mother. I could not have handled having to actually give that news myself. My grasp on the reality of that information was tenuous enough as it was.

It was 9:30 a.m. and the visitation service was not due to start for another thirty minutes, but already the parking lot of Forks' only funeral home was close to capacity. Forks High School would be a ghost town today as the senior class would all be in attendance here as well as most of the junior class and a good number of the sophomores and even a few freshman.

Having promised Mrs. Cheney I would arrive early to help her set up, I numbly pushed myself up from the car seat and walked across the asphalt towards the heavy double doors that marked the entry to the funeral home. I didn't even register Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Tyler and Eric standing near a bench placed by the doors until Jessica reached out to hold my hand.

"Angela, I'm so-" her voice broke as tears welled in her eyes, "sorry."

Fighting desperately to maintain control of my own tears, I simply tightened my grasp on her hand and ran my thumb over her knuckles before letting her go and continuing through the doors. It was all I could do.

Entering the chilled air of the funeral home, there was a small love seat arranged to the left of the doors with three wing-backed chairs and a non-descript reception desk. To the right, a few feet down, was another set of double doors, this time with a podium directly to the left with a desk lamp attached to the top shining down on a sign-in book. "Friends and Relatives" written in elegant dark silver script at the top of the page.

Picking up the heavy black ballpoint pen from the indentation above the book I carefully signed my name on the first line of the blank page. Closing my eyes, I caught my upper between my teeth as I struggled to stop the tears from cascading down my face. Why had I told Mom I'd be fine when she offered to come in with me rather than wait with the boys outside? _You can do this, Angela,_ I tried to tell myself.

Stepping back from the podium, I noticed the small sign with the removable letters to the right of the doors announcing "Benjamin Cheney" in letters larger than those below which stated "Visitation 10 a.m. – 1 p.m.; Funeral Service 1 p.m. – 1:30 p.m."

Was that all it was expected to take? Three and a half hours for everyone who knew and loved Ben to say good-bye?

I grasped my hands together momentarily to try to stop the shaking, and took a deep breath. When I believed I had gathered myself enough to face Ben's family I pulled open one of the heavy wood doors and walked into the last room I'd ever spend time in with Ben.

Trying to ignore the casket in the place of honor at the front center of the room I looked around at the pews that were split down the middle of the room, twelve rows on each side, several framed pictures of Ben with friends and/or family, including the one from the bonfire at the beach I'd had printed for his parents just yesterday. I took in the upright flower arrangements, one draped with a ribbon declaring "Beloved Son" standing prominently in the foreground of all the others. I didn't send flowers. How did I not think to send flowers? He was my boyfriend, I before all others here loved him. I should have thought to send something declaring that love. Why didn't I? How can I expect him to know his death did not take my love with it when I can't even be thoughtful enough to send flowers to his _funeral_?

Just as I could feel myself beginning to lose control of my emotions two strong hands grabbed my upper arms from behind me and began to slowly rub up and down my arms. "Are you okay, Baby Girl?" My father asked.

Turning quickly I buried my face in my father's chest. "I don't know, Daddy," I admitted for the first time on shaky sobs. "I didn't know what to expect when I came here, but I didn't-" I stopped to take several small, choppy breaths. "expect _this_."

He put his arms around me and ran his hands over my back. "You're not alone, Angela. Your Mom and I are here with you, and all your friends will be here as well. Let them help you. I saw Bella with her boyfriend and his family a few minutes ago when I was in the hallway."

"I have to help Mr. and Mrs. Ch-cheney," I stuttered out through my tears.

"I've already helped Mr. Cheney get the laptop set up in the front right corner of the room, and it's connected to the overhead projector." As he spoke I noticed for the first time the wall to the right of the … of Ben was a reflection of some peaceful solitary island in the middle of an ocean. Someone's computer background. Not Ben's though. His was a picture of him and I taken on Valentine's Day this year. "All you have to do is start the slideshow of the photos on the flashdrive. They decided to take your suggestion and just use Ben's iPod and put it on shuffle for the background music rather than try to create a compilation of songs," my father finished.

I nodded and pulled back from my father. I made my way up to the front of the room and glanced around at the walls, looking for a clock to see how long I had before the visitation started, I noticed for the first time there were no clocks anywhere in here. Reaching the computer I looked in the lower right corner. 9:48 AM. I still have a few minutes to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Cheney before everyone else.

I plugged in the flashdrive to one of the laptop's USB ports. I selected the appropriate drive and opened the only file on the drive "Ben." I had selected a few pictures from every person who sent them to me as well as the files his mom and dad have given me and had created a file of 1,100 different pictures of Ben with friends and family ranging from his infancy until just a few weeks ago. Placing my cursor on the first picture to select it, but not open it, I pressed the slideshow button at the top of the window and lowered the screen without closing the laptop completely. I had set the slideshow to ten second intervals which would fill the three hours of the visitation almost perfectly with the photos in the file.

The first of the images came up on the wall just as Mr. and Mrs. Cheney entered the room from a discreet door to the right of where I'd been standing.

Mr. Cheney wrapped his arms around his wife's small shoulders as they began to shake with new sobs while she took in the face of her only son smiling back at her from the wall as he stood proudly next to the tent he'd set up on one of his first camping trips as a child. "Angela, I don't know how to thank you for this. For everything you've done." His voice was thick with emotion and he was clearly struggling to be strong for his wife.

"There's no need. I needed to do this. I just wish I could have done more. I don't know how-" my words were strangled by the sobs that broke through, and I was suddenly pulled into his left side, opposite Ben's mother. She reached across and though she didn't speak she placed her hand on my cheek and her eyes spoke volumes to me.

She lowered her hand and cast her eyes downward and in a voice so small I wasn't even sure I'd heard her at first, Ben's mother spoke up. "It's not natural. A parent should never outlive their child. It's just not natural."

I had no response. So, I did the only thing I could think of at that moment and reached forward to take her right hand in my left and hold it tightly.

We stood like that for several moments just garnering strength from each other until finally Ben's father took a deep breath and placing a hand on each of our shoulders announced, "We have to open the doors so everyone else can have the chance to say good-bye as well."

Mrs. Cheney nodded and he led her over to one of the front pews where he let her sit before walking up the center aisle to the doors at the back of the room. I walked with him, but as he opened the doors I walked across the back of the room and sat at the end of the last pew.

My father met him at the back and just before he opened the doors my dad inclined his head towards the front of the room and Mr. Cheney walked back up to join his wife. Slowly my dad opened the doors and began to greet the mourners who had arrived for Ben's last gathering.

My eyes settled on the ever changing photos on the front wall as people began to fill the room. I was vaguely aware of seeing people I knew entering, a few stopping to whisper words of condolence to me after speaking in hushed tones with Ben's parents. I nodded a lot, mumbled words of thanks and they would move on to speak with others.

My focus remained on the photos of Ben's life. Three hours of photos capturing the essence of eighteen years of life. I had long since stopped trying to ebb the tears that flowed freely down my face. At some point someone handed me a tissue. I know this only because I sat holding it wadded up in hands as I would ball it up and run my fingers over before transferring it to my other hand and repeating the motion.

I could hear conversations flowing around me as people quietly shared favorite memories.

"I remember when he and Angela first started dating," Tyler regaled to Lauren and Mike. "I had teased him she'd dump him as soon as she realized he couldn't look her in the eyes, but Ben said he'd invest in platform shoes or those ridiculous lift insoles if that was what it took to be with her."

"I asked him one time in sophomore year when he was finally going to grow out of those comic books and he looked at me very seriously and said, 'Jessica, you don't grow out of _graphic novels_, you grow _into_ them'," Jessica shared with the group she was standing with.

"He loved you, Angela." The words were spoken softly and I didn't register at first that they had been spoken to me and were not just part of the conversations surrounding me. When I realized they were directed to me I turned my head away from the slideshow for the first time since taking my seat to find Bella had sat down beside me. She had her hands in her lap and she was studying them intently. Edward was standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders, looking as though that action was what supported her body and kept her upright.

I hadn't expected to see Bella so distraught. I knew she was friends with Ben and got along with him okay on the occasions we had all hung out together, but I didn't realize she would be so upset at his passing. I began to realize his death affected so many people besides myself. I had been so upset about my loss and what it meant for me to no longer have Ben in my life that I hadn't taken the time to consider the pain others were suffering. I needed to be there for them every bit as much as I was going to need them to be there for me. We would pull each other through this; somehow. I still wasn't sure how, but I had to believe we would.

For the first time I allowed my eyes to drift to the focal point of the room. Unaware I'd even reached to take hold of Bella's hand I found myself holding tightly to her as I took in the coffin at the front center of the room. It was highly polished wood similar in color to a cherry wood with bright silver metal in three places across the front where the bar the pall bearers would use to carry Ben to his final resting place was attached. It was beautiful, but understated; very similar to Ben. He was easy to underestimate, but his beauty and strength were easily recognizable when you looked closer.

Draped across the top of Ben's casket was a spray of white roses. New beginnings. When Ben's parents had asked me to pass along to anyone I spoke with their wish for people to not wear black or very dark colors to the services I hadn't thought much about it. I had passed it along as they'd requested and though some people seemed confused by the request no one had questioned it. I had paired tan linen skirt with my emerald green wrap blouse because it had been a favorite of Ben's. He loved me in green, said it brought out the gold flecks in my brown eyes.

Looking around the room I realized most everyone had complied with Mr. and Mrs. Cheney's request. There were some dark slacks or skirts and a few people who were dressed completely in dark tones, but overall the colors in the room were light with some bright tones like my shirt mixed in here and there. I continued to let my eyes wander the room, all the while holding tightly to Bella's hand though Edward's sister Alice had come to sit on the other side me at some point. No one in our small group spoke, but the comfort I took from their presence was immeasurable.

As my eyes completed their circuit of the room I noticed the slideshow was nearing the end. Three hours had passed? How could that be? I'd only just sat down a few moments ago.

My father stepped to the podium and began gathering his notes. Noticing him doing this, people began to filter to the pews and take a seat. When the pews had filled people lined up along the walls and at the back of the room. Ben was surrounded by the people who knew and loved him and they had all come to wish him a fond farewell. Breathing deeply I tried to steel myself for the words my father would speak that I knew would speak to my heart and soul. They would be words that would mend my broken spirit, but not before tearing it apart.

The overhead projector was turned off as the last photo, one of Ben and his parents, faded out. All eyes focused on my father. Though his eyes were misted with tears, his voice rang strong.

"I'd like to start our service today with the words of an old Irish prayer. 'When we lose someone we love it seems that time stands still. What moves through us is a silence... a quiet sadness... A longing for one more day... one more word... one more touch... We may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget. We will see you again someday, in a heavenly place where there is no parting. A place where there are no words that mean good-bye.'

"Though we gather here today to say to good-bye to Ben, we must also remember to keep him with us. We cannot simply dwell on the loss we suffer. The pain of death is ours to bear. The bible tells us death is not a tragedy to be suffered, but a beginning to be celebrated, a step into eternal life. God has called home one of his most precious angels. 2 Corinthians, chapter 5, verses 6 through 8 tell us "So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

"Ben has taken the step none us can follow in yet. He is home with his Father and knows peace. Pain is natural when we lose someone so dear to us, but it is essentially selfish. It is a reflection of our desire to keep those we love here, with us. The loss of someone so young is especially difficult to handle. Surely, there was more life to live, more experiences to have and more love to share. That is not our call. Only God can decide when we have fulfilled our responsibilities on this earth and should be brought home to him.

"Our place is not to question, but to accept, as best we can, and to remember. To remember Ben is to keep him here with us always. We're going to conclude this portion of the funeral service with the hymn printed on the back of the fliers that were near the sign in book. Please sing along with us and then proceed outside where we will proceed to the grave site at Forks Cemetery."

Stepping back from the podium my father lowered his head and the first strains of "Be Not Afraid" began to filter through the sound system. I had managed to survive my father's eulogy with only a few tears, but I knew this song would be my undoing.

_You shall cross the barren desert,  
but you shall not die of thirst.  
You shall wander far in safety,  
though you do not know the way._

_You shall speak your words in foreign lands,  
and all will understand,  
You shall see the face of God and live._

_Be not afraid,  
I go before you always,  
Come follow Me,  
and I shall give you rest._

Ben, my love, I hope you have found the peace we cling to in our beliefs and that God has given you rest. I pray you are at the foot of our Lord and he has placed you in his choir of angels.

_If you pass through raging waters  
in the sea, you shall not drown.  
If you walk amidst the burning flames,  
you shall not be harmed._

_If you stand before the pow'r of hell  
and death is at your side,  
know that I am with you, through it all_

_Be not afraid,  
I go before you always,  
Come follow Me,  
and I shall give you rest._

_Blessed are your poor,  
for the Kingdom shall be theirs.  
Blest are you that weep and mourn,  
for one day you shall laugh._

I will try to laugh again. I don't know how I'll do it, but I will try. I love you too much to not celebrate your ascension.

_And if wicked men insult and hate you, all because of Me,  
blessed, blessed are you!_

_Be not afraid,  
I go before you always,  
Come follow Me,  
and I shall give you rest._

As the hymns' final notes rang through the room I stood to make my way outside. Alice stood from the pew to let me out and Bella kept hold of my hand. As I prepared to turn to my right and go out the back of the room I found I could not take that step.

Instead I faced my left and gently pulling my hand from Bella, I asked them, "Will you give me a moment, please?"

"Of course. We'll wait right outside the doors for you." Edward answered.

I walked to the front of the room and nervously stepped up to the casket. The room had emptied and it was oddly silent. I placed my hand on the top of Ben's coffin and lightly ran my fingers over the polished wood. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but no longer in the torrents of pain I had been experiencing. I was sad, I was hurting and I was a little lost, but I felt the stirrings of something new as well – peace.

I breathed deeply and with a shaking voice I said my farewell. "I miss you. I'll always love you. Good-bye, my love."

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The cemetery was just over a mile from the funeral home, but seemed much longer as the procession of cars slowly made its way. As the limo I rode in with Ben's parents followed the hearse down Calawah Way and made the slight bend to the right, Forks Cemetery came into view on the left.

The limo pulled to the curb about ten feet behind where the hearse had stopped and we stepped out into the light mist that had begun to fall. I stood with his parents and my father in front of the limo as the pall bearers lined up, three on each side, behind the hearse.

The funeral home director stepped between the two rows of boys and reached to open the door. As the latch released I felt Mrs. Cheney collapse beside me, caught only by her husband's strong arms as her knees gave way and her body was overcome with wracking sobs. I stepped closer to her and placed my arm behind her, rubbing her back, not knowing any other way to give her comfort at this moment.

The funeral director asked the two groups of boys to please step forward, explaining the coffin would roll out of the hearse and they should grab the bars attached to each side passing hand over hand, and the casket would reach the boy farthest from the hearse as the very end of the casket came off the rollers. Mike on the left and Tyler on the right were closest and reached forward first to take hold of the bar with and begin the unloading. On Mike's right was Eric who stood directly across from Edward. At the ends were Connor, to the right of Eric, and Lee, to the left of Edward.

When Ben's casket was completely supported by his friends they stepped slowly in unison away from the hearse and turned toward the grave site. Ben's parents stepped behind the pall bearers and their precious cargo and I fell in behind Mr. and Mrs. Cheney with my father. When they reached the tent set up over the grave site the boys stepped to the sides of the skirted hydraulic lift and after they had traversed the length of the grave, they settled Ben's coffin gently on the supports. Mike, Eric and Connor took three steps back and Tyler, Edward and Lee walked around the grave to stand side by side the others facing the gathered group of mourners across Ben's casket.

Mr. and Mrs. Cheney took their seats and I sat to their left. As if sensing I would need the support, Bella had again come to sit at my left side and had my hand in hers.

My father stood at the head of the casket and began to speak. "I would again like to open the services here with a poem. This poem is entitled 'A Prayer for My Friends and Family' by an unknown author.

Poem for My Friends and Family

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glint upon the snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

You feel me as gentle morning rain.

And when you wake in the morning's hush

I am the sweet uplifting rush

of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry:

I am not there, I did not die.

"These words to not come easy to us, but they speak a gentle truth. Ben has not died. Ben has been born again into eternal life. His mortal body lays here in this casket, but the soul that was Ben has gone to his Heavenly Father."

Stepping forward my father reached down and grabbed a handful of the freshly turned dirt in his left hand, holding his Book of Common Prayers in his right and recited, "Unto Almighty God we commend the soul of our brotherdeparted, and we commit hisbody to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection unto eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ; at whose coming in glorious majesty to judge the world, the earth and the sea shall give up their dead; and the corruptible bodies of those who sleep in him shall be changed, and made like unto his own glorious body; according to the mighty working whereby he is able to subdue all things unto himself."

He placed the handful of dirt on top of the casket and stepped back, closing his prayer book. "The funeral home director will now lower Ben to his final resting place. The family will come forward first to place a handful of dirt in the grave and then each of you are welcome to as well."

Edward stepped forward and lifted the spray of roses from the top of the casket and placed it a few feet away on the damp grass. The funeral director came to the casket and began removing the velvet skirting that had surrounded the hydraulic rest Ben's casket sat on. As the last of the material was moved away I saw the dark emptiness of the grave open up. The air in my lungs rushed out of me and I buried my face in my hands leaning against Bella's shoulders as a new wave of tears started.

The soft whir of the hydraulics began and slowly the dark polished wood of the casket sank further and further into the dark hole where his body would rest for eternity. I looked away when the top of the casket cleared the edge of the grave and I could no longer see it without looking down.

Bella nudged me a few moments later. "Did you want to place dirt in the grave?"

I didn't, but I would. I stood to follow Ben's parents to the graveside. Noticing I was slightly unsteady on my feet, Bella and Alice flanked me and walked forward with me. When I reached the edge I took a small handful of the moist earth and extended my hand allowing it to fall, but not looking where it went. I couldn't look into that hole. I could not bear to see the darkness that would surround Ben from this day forward, regardless of my belief he was truly in The Light now, the vision of the grave's darkness was too much for me to see.

I went back to my seat next to the Cheneys and shook hands with the mourners who stopped to give their condolences after passing by the grave. It seemed the line of people was endless as each person stepped to his grave murmuring word of blessing and good-bye. As the last of the gathered mourners dispersed and made their way back to their vehicles, my parents came forward to speak with the Cheneys. I had not seen my mother since getting out of our car at the funeral home, but I knew she had been nearby and would have been by my side in a heartbeat had I asked for her. Instead she had left me to deal with my grief in my own way.

Bella, Alice and Edward stood to leave. "Angela would you like a ride home?"

I knew I should probably stay, but I really only wanted to be home. I wanted to be in familiar surroundings where I could allow my grief to flow through me without fear of who might see.

Turning to my parents, I tapped my mom on the shoulder trying not to interrupt the conversation between my father and Ben's parents. When she turned her head to look at me I asked her, "Mom, do you mind if I ride home with Bella and the Cullens?"

Mom looked to Edward for confirmation and receiving whatever acknowledgment she was looking for she nodded and answered, "That's fine. We'll be home shortly."

I leaned forward and kissed my mom's cheek. "Thank you, Mom." I then quickly stepped to each of Ben's parents and gave them a hug a kiss on the cheek, trying to not disrupt their conversation too much.

Stepping out from under the tent I noticed Edward had a very large umbrella held over the heads of himself, Bella and Alice. I'm not even sure where it came from as I hadn't seen any of them holding anything during the service, but I also hadn't been the most attentive.

We began to walk between the headstones and grave markers towards Edward's parked car. There was still a fine mist, but it wasn't yet a drizzle.

"Edward, is the umbrella necessary? It's not even drizzling." Bella commented.

"You know Alice, she hates getting her hair messed up," he quipped.

Alice softly admonished him, "Oh hush! I just had a feeling we'd need an umbrella and since we had it with us we might was well use it."

Just then the skies lightened, and I heard Bella gasp quietly as she pointed to our left. "Look! How beautiful."

The sun had briefly broken through the soggy skies, causing the light to refract through the watery mist. A rainbow.

* * *

**Please review. You have no idea how much they brighten my day. They are my rainbows. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Sorry for the ridiculous wait between updates. RL got kinda crazy and I really struggled with this chapter. It's shorter than the others but it took me four attempts to even feel like it was worth Mischief_Maker1's time to beta. I hope you like it. I'm already working on Chapter 5 - promise. **

**I definitely don't own any part of the Twilight saga, well, other than all the books, DVDs, soundtracks and scores. Hmmm... Seriously wish Stephenie Meyer would make this whole thing publicly traded. Maybe then I'd recoup some of the money I've spent.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**Wolf POV **

I sensed the moment Sam and Jake rejoined the pack's patrol before their minds even put forth a thought. It was eerie to be so completely connected. You hear about soul mates and people who can sense their loved one as though tethered by a cosmic force, but I'd wondered at times if it was the same as being completely mentally connected to 9 other individuals. Anytime I took the sacred shape of my ancestors I had no secrets. My heart, soul and every thought were laid bare.

_Where are Collin, Seth, Leah and Embry?_

_Only two of the Cullens went to the funeral with Bella, Sam, so the Doc took the female bloodsuckers hunting and the other two males offered to pick up the patrol closest to the edge of the Res. So, we thought it would be okay for a few of us to get some down time. They know we'll call them back if they're needed or you're not okay with it. Otherwise, they'll be back at dusk to spell a few of us._

_Good thinking. Thanks, Quil. We want to be ready, but we don't want to have anyone so run down they're not 100 percent._

_Jake?_

_Yea, Quil?_

_Is Bella okay?_

I felt Sam's emotional flinch at the inquiry. His mind went back to his less than tactful disclosure about the death of the boy in the meadow – Ben.

None of us had known who he was. We had estimated he was probably a freshman, or maybe a sophomore, but hadn't expected him to know any of the Cullens or Bella. For one, word had it none of the Cullens associated with anyone at school other than each other and Bella had pretty much made their ways hers. Secondly, he was barely the height of Brady or Collin and had a bunch of comic books with him.

_She's taking it hard. She really seems to think it is somehow her fault. I tried to get her to see the blame is on the leeches but she just gets mad and shuts down, so I stopped trying._

Jake and Sam's thoughts both flashed to the funeral they'd attended today. It was like seeing a movie, but rather than viewing a flat, two dimensional image you saw it from multiple camera angles.

We all continued to run our patrol, spread throughout the Res and parts of the surrounding forest as Jake and Sam allowed us all to attend the funeral and pay our respects, albeit, in a less conventional way.

They hadn't attended the services at the funeral home. Forks is a small town and while we weren't exactly strange faces, we weren't part of the group either. The memorial service was going to be mainly Ben's family and friends and it would have been obvious that we weren't friends of his when the only person we knew in the gathering was Bella and her two bloodsucking tag-alongs.

So, Sam had decided it would be best to wait and join along the fringes of the group when they went to the cemetery.

_Is that - _

_Yea, Paul, Cullen was a pall bearer – if you can believe that shit._

_Huh. I didn't realize they had friends besides each other._

_Who's the girl?_

_Which girl, Brady? There's only a couple dozen…_

_Sorry, Sam. The girl sitting between Bella and his parents. His older sister? She seems to be taking it pretty hard._

_Jake, you said she's his girlfriend, right?_

_Yea, Bells said her name's Angela. They'd been dating for a while, I guess._

_If she only knew two of the people she leaned on during her boyfriend's funeral were the same kind of bloodsucking monster that killed him …_

_I had the same thoughts, Jared._

_Sorry, Jake. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to be there and see Bella with him._

_I'm alright, Quil. I just want this all to be over with already, preferably with a lot of dead vamps._

As the remainder of the graveside service went before us in our collective mind's eye, our thoughts were numerous and emotions ran the gambit. Guilt for having missed the parasite that took the young life. Sympathy for the loss of a loved one as well as empathy as some of us had lost own loved ones, as well, although not in such a horrific manner. Anger, at both ourselves, again for missing the bloodsucker, and that the existence of a creature as horrible as that would make our existence necessary.

Jake and Sam had hung back and to the side of the group so they could see the family, and with them, Bella and the boy's girlfriend, but as the mourners began to disperse they had to leave or try to explain their need to attend the funeral of a boy they hadn't known.

Just as Jake and Sam's thoughts had shifted back to the green and greys surrounding us, our four remaining members joined us. I hadn't even realized dusk had arrived.

_Someone shift the conversation. I need a distraction._

_Distraction from what, Jake?_

_The point of a distraction, Seth, is to not think about something so why would I want to rehash it to tell you about it?_

_Oh, sorry._

_That was uncool, Jake, we haven't even been here. How was he supposed to know what has your panties in a twist? Other than we all know the glorious leech loving Bella Swan is the only thing that gets you all riled up these days…_

_Fucking shut it, Leah!_

_Hey, Sam, just because you're the Alpha doesn't mean you get to control everything we think or feel._

_So … _

_WHAT PAUL?_ Three voices resounded at once.

_Geez … angry much? I was just wondering if Rachel was gonna be home this weekend._

_No, Paul, Rachel has some big tests coming up soon and said she needed more study time. I guess you'll just have to hang out at your house and eat your own damn food._

_Awww, Jake, I'm wounded. I thought we were bonding._

_The only bonding that's gonna happen is my foot to your ass if you don't quit mooching off my family. We can barely support ourselves, let alone your dumb ass._

_I do not mooch. I allow you to share with me. And I only do it because Rachel keeps telling me she wants me to get to know your dad better. Like he doesn't know me well enough now. _

_Whatever. She's not coming home for a couple weeks. She said she was gonna call you._

_Well, I haven't exactly been home much lately, now have I?_

_Claire's started – _

_Not again with the 'Claire is the most amazing, smartest, most beautiful toddler in the world' crap._

_Fuck, Leah! Is there anything you _won't_ bitch about?_

_Whatever, Jared, just because a few of you idiots have imprinted doesn't mean all of us should have to be regaled with the drivel._

_Paul, Jared, Quil, Brady …_

_Sup, Boss?_

_Yea, Sam?_

_What's up?_

_Yea?_

_Now that the others are back from their rest, go and take a few hours. Try to actually get some sleep. Be back at midnight. We'll need our numbers strongest in the longest part of the night._

_Kay._

_See ya then._

_Laters!_

_Midnight, gotcha._

I had been running the patrol closest to the edge of the Res' forest line so as soon as Sam gave us the okay for some down time I found the first good place to stop and allowed myself to regain the sanity that can only come from being the only one in your head. As the cool ice slithered down my spine I felt the shimmer as my body shifted and my muscles contracted to the smaller human form.

As much as I hate Edward Cullen, if his ability to hear everyone's thoughts was anything like being tied into the pack's mind, I felt sorry for the guy. I couldn't imagine hearing _every _thought from _every_ person that was even close by and having no way to shut it off. How is he not a raving lunatic?

I untied my shorts from my ankle, pulled them up over my calves then thighs before fastening them and placing the small leather tie in my pocket. These moments after shifting were always the most awkward for me. I kept waiting for the day one of the older Res women would come wandering by and I'd have to try to explain why I was standing there naked as the day I was born with my shorts in my hand.

As clothed as I ever was any more, I began the walk home.

Now that my thoughts were mine, and only mine, again I let myself think back over the images from the funeral. The girlfriend haunted me. Her face was so drawn and lifeless as though she had died, as well. She had strong features and despite her obvious pain she carried herself with an inner strength. She leaned on Bella and the littlest leech but she didn't allow herself to crumble and be carried. They were assistance, not support.

Hmmm. She'd be fine. She was still young and even though it would clearly take some time for her to recover from her loss she would have time to find love and be happy again.

At least I hoped so.

* * *

**Once again, my thanks go to Mischief_Maker1 for her time and patience in working with me as a beta and mentor. If you love the wolves and want a very AU story read her "You Wanted More" and its sequel, "Consequences of Wanting More." **


End file.
